Be

Which matters more: to be or to do?

Here lately I've found myself so busy doing that I've had moments where I wondered if it really even matters. It's this internal duplicity of loving the busy-ness of accomplishment, yet waning in dissatisfaction with the overall results. Not that the results aren't good...just not at the level that I ultimately want to achieve.

No doubt, I'm a task-oriented person; I love checking the little box in my planner beside each action item after I've finished it. But I've had to ask myself (again) if I'm more concerned with doing all that I do than I am with being all that God wants me to be...as a husband, a father, a leader, a musician, a worshiper, a man, a child of God.

Sometimes when I do, the rush of accomplishment makes me forget about how broken I am. For a moment, I'm the man, and it feels good. But just like any emotion, it doesn't last forever, and I'm soon looking at the same ol' guy in the mirror who doesn't have it all together.

But something happens when I embrace that brokenness, when I reject the facade and decide to be transparent with myself and with God. I discover that in no way, shape, or form is His love for me dependent on my performance, my accomplishment, or my track record. His love is His love, and it never changes...it's always been amazing, and it will always be! There's nothing I can do to earn it, or to make myself unworthy of it.

Not that I'm gonna cease to do, but I'm gonna make more time to be. To be broken, to be vulnerable, to be brave, to be real, to be loved...because I am, regardless of how much I do or don't do.

When was the last time you took time just to be?