Be

Which matters more: to be or to do?

Here lately I've found myself so busy doing that I've had moments where I wondered if it really even matters. It's this internal duplicity of loving the busy-ness of accomplishment, yet waning in dissatisfaction with the overall results. Not that the results aren't good...just not at the level that I ultimately want to achieve.

No doubt, I'm a task-oriented person; I love checking the little box in my planner beside each action item after I've finished it. But I've had to ask myself (again) if I'm more concerned with doing all that I do than I am with being all that God wants me to be...as a husband, a father, a leader, a musician, a worshiper, a man, a child of God.

Sometimes when I do, the rush of accomplishment makes me forget about how broken I am. For a moment, I'm the man, and it feels good. But just like any emotion, it doesn't last forever, and I'm soon looking at the same ol' guy in the mirror who doesn't have it all together.

But something happens when I embrace that brokenness, when I reject the facade and decide to be transparent with myself and with God. I discover that in no way, shape, or form is His love for me dependent on my performance, my accomplishment, or my track record. His love is His love, and it never changes...it's always been amazing, and it will always be! There's nothing I can do to earn it, or to make myself unworthy of it.

Not that I'm gonna cease to do, but I'm gonna make more time to be. To be broken, to be vulnerable, to be brave, to be real, to be loved...because I am, regardless of how much I do or don't do.

When was the last time you took time just to be?

Gifted

In school, it meant "smarter than the rest." I think it means much more, and applies to everyone. God has given every person on the planet a specific gift(s), as unique to them as their appearance and personality.

When I hear someone say, "That guy is gifted," I no longer assume his IQ is higher than the status quo. Instead, I recognize that he has found an outlet to utilize the unique abilities that have been planted in him, and it shows...cuz it always does!

In life, we make countless choices. One of my most recent, and I think most important, is to put my gifts to work like never before. There's much than I can do, but less that I should...cuz I'm not meant to do it all, and I'm most effective where I'm gifted. I'm learning to do less and lead more--inviting others into the game who can do it better than me because they're gifted for it!

Until we're using our gifts, we're only partially alive.

Our Father

I had a moment the other day with my son, who turns two this weekend. He's reached the age where he volunteers kisses and hugs without being prompted, and it's stinkin' cute! If he gives Mommy a kiss, he has to give Daddy one, too...ya know, keep the balance in the force.

Anyhow, he started walking towards me from across the room the other day and said, "Give Daddy tiss?" (all the "k" sounds come out as a "t" right now) Of course, my heart melted, I smiled, and scooped him up so he could lay one on me...and then the thought hit me.

What a picture that is of us with our Father God! Not that we can actually "lay one on Him" (which is kind of a weird thought), but our worship is an expression of love that we choose to give Him...and He chooses to receive it! And--He actually looks forward to it just like I look forward to my son reaching out to me! I think it pulls on His heart strings when we lavish our worship on Him, and He can't resist returning the embrace. After all, He created us to be with Him, so why would He ever turn away?

When my little boy spoke those words, I didn't point out the flaws in his grammar or his approach. I just simply opened my arms and relished the fact that he wanted to love on me. It's that way with God too. We don't have to speak or pray the magic words or sing with perfect pitch. We just come...and find Him waiting there, ready for us to "lay one on Him."

Questions

Father God,

Thank You for the questions that litter my mind. The questions that I'll never be able to answer or explain. Questions that fascinate me, frustrate me, inspire me, and divide me. Thank You for allowing the confusion that sometimes results from my search for truth, because within that confusion, I realize that I'm not meant to know it all. It becomes clear that You, and only You, are the One who has all the answers. And I discover that when I'm with You, I don't have to know it all...because You do, and You love me. Thank You for being as close as I'll allow, and for always being available to me. I know the questions will come and go, but You never will.

Thank You, Lord. Amen.