Fragile not Forgotten

The first week of June, I took a three-day "Wild Hogs" motorcycle trip with Pastor Timmy & two other guys to celebrate Timmy's 40th birthday. Yeah, he's officially a gezer...ha! We rode through the Ozark mountains around Eureka Springs and saw a lot of beautiful scenery. A few weeks before that, I camped out with my dad, brother, and 3-year-old son for two nights at the lake. Both excursions were really fun and refreshing--but in deeper ways than I expected!

While we were out camping, I felt something behind my ear and discovered a tick crawling into my hairline. That got us talking about how amazing and disturbing it is that something so small could possibly give you a life-threatening disease like Lyme's, or like malaria from a mosquito! It reminded me of how incredibly fragile we really are. Sometimes we get so used to being the masters of the universe that our human pride whispers invincibility in our own ears, without our even realizing it. It's a subtle shift from gratitude to self-sufficiency that sets us up for confusion and disappointment. I believe it's healthy for us to remind ourselves how small we really are.

Both nights of camping were crystal clear and beautiful, and most of the motorcycle trip was beautiful too--we did get rained on once, which hurt pretty good! Especially while we were out on the bikes, though, I found myself getting lost in the sheer beauty of it all. The contour of the horizon, the colors of the sun set, the layers of vegetation, even the refreshing chill of the rain. When you really look at it, really take time to do nothing else but look at the world we live in, it's amazing! Every time I do, I can't help but insist that this didn't happen by accident; it couldn't have only been a random occurrence at some point in the past 400 million years or whatever.

Then the pieces came together for me. It was this realization (again) that we have been placed on this planet not just to survive, but to thrive, to enjoy the journey, and to bask in each of the moments we are given. We are small but not insignificant. Fragile but not forgotten. As menial as our individual existence can seem as times, it is not. We are all uniquely shaped, designed, and gifted for a specific niche. What an insight into the heart of God that is! The vastness of His ability and creativity, as well as the beauty of His love. I'm again completely baffled at the depth of His goodness, and inspired to love the life He has entrusted to me!

If you're working like a dog, good for you...just make sure you make time to play like a dog too! We were made to LIVE, baby!

The Faith Pendulum

It's amazing how therapeutic good conversation can be (especially when good food is involved too :-) Doing the lunch thing at On the Border the other day, I found myself confessing to one of my good friends how my own heart seems to lead me astray from time to time. One day, I'm resting in the hands of God, and the next, I'm not sure if God is even real. What's up with that!?!

Why is it that one moment, I'm able to live in a state of confident assurance and peaceful resolve that God is with me, sees my problems, and is ultimately in control...but then the smallest little issue can seemingly derail my entire world!? I find myself asking questions like, "Why does this have to happen to me right now?" and thinking things like, "Man! Every time I really get it together, it seems like some crap has to go wrong! If only (blah blah blah), I could really stay on the right track..."

I read something recently that shot me in the heart (or the butt...maybe both). It was along these lines: When something bad/wrong happens to me, I've learned to stop blaming the event, or asking God why. Instead, I take inventory of what that event stirs inside of me--what emotions I feel, what fingers I want to point, what thoughts I think. Because the truth is, that event did not crawl inside of me and plant those things there...they were already there! They were simply brought to the surface by my circumstance.

As much as I hate to admit that some of those God-blaming, doubt-spewing, self-absorbed tendencies are in me, they are. And I don't like it! I find great solace in the fact, though, that although my faith sometimes swings from extreme confidence to extreme doubt, God continues to be uber-gracious, all-forgiving, and ever-able. It again fills me with hope and awe, and boggles my mind that he can use such a "tool" as me!

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." (Heb 13:8) I know I can count on Him...my prayer is that He can count on me too!